You’re Taking the Plunge Again?
San Diego Woman Magazine Bridal Issue 2012
Anne Daniels
Recently I was asked by Anne Daniels, a writer for San Diego Woman Magazine, to contribute to an article about Second Marriages for their upcoming mega bridal issue. (find it in stores now!)
Thank you to Anne and the Editors of San Diego Woman for this opportunity!
Yes, the wedding is on the beach, but no flip-flops
Saturday, April 24, 2010 at 12:05 a.m.
You’re getting ready to leave for a friend’s beach wedding when all of a sudden your husband trots out in his best pair of jeans and a T-shirt. You shake your head and say, “No, no, no,” but he’s convinced that a beach wedding is equivalent to a barbecue.
Now What?
The good news is that you have truth, justice and the bridal way on your side. While beach weddings are often more casual affairs, it’s considered poor form to wear jeans — even if they are the expensive kind, says Wynn Austin, owner of Le Chic Wedding Consulting, a San Diego company.
Same goes for shorts.
Think of it like a restaurant: “No shorts, no jeans, no wedding service,” Austin adds.
Of course, that doesn’t mean your husband has to change into his best suit either. In fact, being overdressed at a beach wedding can be just as big a faux pas as being underdressed — not too mention pretty uncomfortable, too.
The best bet for men is a light pair of pants, whether they be cotton khakis or linen, and a collared shirt. If you’re unsure how fancy the affair is, your husband can add a blazer. He can take it off if it’s too warm or if it makes him look too stuffy.
To avoid the wedding-day fight over your husband’s attire, consider when and where the event is being held, suggests Sharon Cole, a local wedding planner. A wedding at the Paradise Point Resort & Spa will probably demand a nicer set of duds than at something being held right on the beach.
Keep in mind, the couple’s wedding website can be helpful in making the right sartorial decisions. If your friends haven’t set one up, it’s perfectly fine to give them a call to find out the dress code, Cole adds.
Now when it comes to your ensemble, think sundress, strappy sandals — not flip-flops — and some sort of wrap or sweater because, as everyone in San Diego County knows, it can get chilly at night at the beach — no matter the season.
Is your daughter ready to be a flower girl?
By Jennifer Davies, UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER
Friday, May 29, 2009 at 8 a.m.
/ Jupiterimages
Is your daughter ready to be a flower girl?
A friend wants your child to be part of her dream wedding. Sure, it’s an honor, but signing your kids up for duty is not without its pitfalls, from major meltdowns to impromptu pirouettes. Here are some ways to keep your little ring bearer or flower girl in line and in the mood:
Just say no: If you think your child is too young or isn’t emotionally ready to be in a wedding, it’s perfectly acceptable to politely decline the invitation, says Leslie Hovsepian, a local child psychologist. So how young is too young? Sharon Cole, co-director of the San Diego Association of Bridal Consultants, advises brides to pick children who are at least 5. Hovsepian said you can go as young as 4 if you are dealing with an outgoing and mature child.
Practice makes perfect: Hovsepian recommends doing a daily run-through by having your child walk down the hall or in the living room. Make it low-key so the child doesn’t get too anxious or too excited about the wedding. As the big day approaches, take the child to the church and have her do a run-through there, too. Explain how there will be lots of people and show her exactly where Mom, Dad or Grandma and Grandpa will be sitting. Hovsepian says to make sure there is a seat reserved for one of the parents or grandparents along the aisle and in front. Cole says it’s also a good idea to give a kid a book like “10 Cool Things About Being a Ring Bearer” or have her watch a movie with a nice wedding scene.
Wedding day rituals: Skip the sugar doughnuts and cut back on liquids, Cole recommends. Make sure the child goes to the restroom right before the processional. You might want to hold off on dressing them up, especially the boys. Cole often has a parent who is not in the wedding party stay with the child at the back of the church and then walk along the outside aisle as the child marches down the center. A good indicator about how the child will perform is how he does during the rehearsal the night before. If the child loses it, Cole often recommends going without that ring bearer or flower girl.
The big moment: If your little angel crumples into tears mid-aisle, go and comfort her immediately. But if your child is hamming it up, walking too slow or otherwise missing her cues, stay seated and enjoy the moment. “With kids, you have to embrace the unexpected,” Cole says.
Plans to wed still ‘up in the air’ for same-sex couples
By John Wilkens
STAFF WRITER May 20, 2008
For same-sex couples in San Diego County, the wedding bouquet is in the air, waiting to be caught. Except nobody knows when it will fall.
Euphoria about last week’s state Supreme Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage is being tempered by uncertainty. As eager as they are to line up wedding venues, caterers and florists, most couples appear to be waiting.
They are waiting for the state bureaucracy to decide when it’s OK to issue marriage licenses – and to come up with a license form that doesn’t require partners to identify themselves as either “bride” or “groom.”
They are waiting for new legal clouds on the horizon to clear. Opponents of the decision want to place on the November ballot a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, and may seek an injunction that would bar the nuptials before the election.
“So much is still up in the air,” said Jan Garbosky, a College Area resident who intends to marry Bonny Russell, her partner of 20 years.
They’ve done some preliminary planning: contacting ministers at downtown San Diego’s First Unitarian Universalist Church, calling a photographer, thinking about music and vows.
“But we don’t have a date yet,” Garbosky said. “It could be July, late August, early September. You don’t want to make all the plans, have family and friends fly in to California for the ceremony, and then not be able to do it.”
Still, local wedding vendors – part of an industry that grosses an estimated $40 billion to $70 billion annually in the United States – already are gearing up for additional business.
GayWedding.com, a national Web site for same-sex wedding planning, has had an “uptick in queries from potential retailers, disproportionately from California,” said Kathryn Hamm, president of the Texas-based firm.
“California has always been one of our top markets. Even though it wasn’t legal, couples were making commitments anyway,” Hamm said. “Now vendors are seeing those headlines and are motivated to reach out to the gay and lesbian community.”
One such vendor, Ocean View Villas in Point Loma, is advertising on the Web site a collection of five two-bedroom vacation rentals, private beach and oceanfront patio for weddings. The price: $2,525 per night.
At the First Unitarian Universalist Church, the Rev. Arvid Straube, lead minister, said the church expects “dozens of our gay and lesbian couples to ask for weddings in the next couple of months. People at our church are ecstatic – we’ve been waiting for this a long time.”
Universal, a nightclub that opened in Hillcrest last month, plans to promote the venue as a site for same-sex weddings and receptions, said Dana Shertz, a partner in EnDev Corp., which built the club.
Gail Simpson, owner of Dream Florist in Hillcrest, said she is going to put together a special package – wedding bouquet, table centerpieces – for couples contemplating a same-sex wedding ceremony.
It’s a marketing effort with special meaning for Simpson. Her partner of 17 years, Marilyn Howard, died of breast cancer this year, a few weeks after the couple’s commitment ceremony.
“If she could have held on a little while longer, we would have done it again – this time a marriage ceremony,” said Simpson, 49. “I think everyone will be trying to do it now that they know it is legal.”
Those who want to tie the knot will have to get a marriage license first. Gregory Smith, the county’s assessor/recorder/clerk, said his office has had several dozen inquiries in recent days about when same-sex licenses will be available.
The answer: “As soon as we know, we’ll let you know.”
The court said the new rules will take effect in 30 days, and left it to an appellate court and state officials to work out the details.
“It could take 30 days, it could take longer,” Smith said. “The state is notoriously slow on these matters.”
Some counties are taking reservations from people who want to get licenses; in San Francisco, several dates in mid-June are full. Dates also are being taken for civil ceremonies performed by county clerks.
San Diego County doesn’t accept appointments for licenses or ceremonies. Everything is first-come, first-served.
Some couples will be eager to get married before November, when a ballot measure again could attempt to ban same-sex marriages. Putting together a ceremony on short notice is possible, local wedding planners said, but flexibility is the key.
Cynthia Zatkin Blase, owner of Cynthia Zatkin Events, said some large venues book the majority of their Saturday weddings a year or more in advance. Opting for a Friday, Sunday or a weekday opens up more possibilities, she said.
With all of the uncertainty, Sharon Cole of A Dream Wedding by Sharon Cole said couples might want to pay for something else as they put down deposits on cakes and corsages – wedding insurance.
The present they both wanted: a future together
By Nicole Reino
December 23, 2007
The Christmas season just got a little bit more magical for two Orange County residents. Patty Williams and Thomas Schwab said their vows in their favorite place – La Jolla – during their favorite time of the year.
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A FRANK MEETING: In 2003, Patty and Thomas met on a blind lunch date. During that one-hour meal at Mimi’s Cafe, they made a connection. “He was very honest,” Patty said. “He said that he didn’t want a friend – he was looking for a relationship.” Thomas, now 45, liked that Patty, now 39, seemed genuine.
MERRY CHRISTMAS: On Christmas 2004, Patty found a distinctive blue box – that can only imply Tiffany & Co. – nestled in between the branches of her Christmas tree. “I asked, ‘Are you sure you want to open it,’” said Thomas, a broker analyst. Of course, Patty wanted to open it! She knew it was a piece of jewelry from the famed retailer, but she had no idea it was going to be an engagement ring. “I was shocked,” Patty said.
THAT’S WHEN IT HIT HER: After they got engaged, Patty and Thomas waited more than a year before planning their wedding. Patty was flipping through a magazine while getting her hair done, when she spotted this story about a wedding held at Christmas time at the Grande Colonial in La Jolla. Right then, it hit her. “I went home and told Thomas we were going to get married at Christmas at the Grande Colonial,” she said.
FINDING THE RIGHT DECOR: During the holidays, the hotel is decorated with Christmas trees and garland. But Patty, a stay-at-home mother, wished to add her own personal touch to the La Jolla Room, which is where the Dec. 9 wedding was held. “I wanted it to be nice and classy,” Patty said. “I didn’t want it full of red and green.” She chose a gold and cream color scheme. Her grandmother Gladys Perez made much of the festive decor and the ornament party favors.
ALL THE TRIMMINGS: The room beamed with holiday cheer. The chairs, which were decorated with cream and gold bows, looked like Christmas presents. Garland was tied to the chandeliers, the Christmas tree sparkled with dozens of lights, and the handmade ornament favors sat at each place setting. Yellow and burnt orange floral arrangements played off of the gold and cream details. “It was beautiful – exactly what we wanted,” Patty said.
THE MEANING OF LOVE: About 30 of the couple’s family members and closest friends witnessed their late-morning ceremony, which Patty described as being “very simple, but touching.” It included two readings – one being Corinthians 13 – that defined the meaning of love. Ryan Williams, Patty’s 10-year-old son, walked her down the aisle.TASTES AND TUNES: Following the vow exchange, a four-course lunch was served. On the menu: Lobster bisque, organic greens with pear, apple and goat cheese, rosemary chicken and chocolate and strawberry cream wedding cake. Lunch was set to the sound of the piano, which was played by the Nordstrom Fashion Valley pianist. At the end of the reception, Ryan joined the pianist in a duet of Pachelbel’s “Canon.”TOASTING THEIR UNION: The newlyweds honeymooned in Solvang, the same Santa Barbara County town where they took their first vacation. While there, they relaxed and tasted wine in celebration of their union.
Wedding planner knows all about how to make the big day work
February 26, 2006
What is the first thing a couple should do when they are planning their wedding?
The first thing is to really think about the budget and then what kind of style of wedding they want. But budget is key because then I know who to send them to. I know what locations and vendors are going to be able to make it work.
What are some alternative venues for a reception other than the traditional hotel ballroom?
Well, San Diego has a lot of parks. There’s this one really nice cliff area right outside UCSD Medical Center by Scripps Institution of Oceanography. Another one I really love is La Jolla Patio in La Jolla. It’s on the backside of the La Jolla Financial Building, and I do a lot of weddings there. La Jolla Museum of Contemporary Art is also very good. The smaller venues would be Marston House & Gardens – it’s beautiful for 50 to 60 people – and Park Manor has a great rooftop venue for receptions. But my favorite, the Natural History Museum, is such a unique venue. It has the rooftop, which has a beautiful view. It overlooks the fountain right outside the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center. The bride and groom can choose which exhibit they want their guests to be at for the cocktail reception. So as they’re going through the exhibit, there are tray-passed hors d’oeuvres and music playing. It’s amazing.
What is the No. 1 thing brides stress out about?
Family issues come up quite often. They’re worried whether or not all the family members will come. Will great aunts not be talking to this person? Where do you seat them so there’s not that conflict? That worries brides more when they are not with a coordinator because I’m taking care of all the major issues. My job goes from coordinating to being the mediator to being the financial analyst to being the baby sitter.
What do you do when a bride walks in on her wedding day and has black marks all over her dress?
With Robin (the pictured bride), the marks came from the edge of the car frame, so she had long, black streaks. I have an emergency kit with me at every wedding. The best thing to do is to just take a really clean, white handkerchief and wipe it off as best you can. Then take the gown and use the gown to rub. Use the gown because the same fabric against the same fabric will help clean it. You don’t want to put anything white – cleaning solution wise – on a satin finish because it will just leave a ring. Robin had so many nice folds in the dress that we got it to where it was not noticeable.
In the eyes of the guests, what makes a good reception?
Great food, great music and personalizing the wedding. It needs to be about the couple – their favorite colors, their favorite flowers, their favorite drinks, their favorite foods. Everything the bride and groom does lets the guests know them a little bit more on a personal level.
A hypothetical scenario: A bride and groom have $5,000 to spend on their wedding. They want to invite 50 people to the wedding, and they don’t want a sit-down dinner. What kind of wedding would you recommend for this couple?
I would suggest definitely doing an off-site venue – any of the parks. For $250, you can get a park permit. And then, if they were up for it and didn’t have a dance crowd, I would suggest having a morning ceremony and doing a luncheon reception because lunch is less expensive than dinner. Now, if they have a dance crowd, then you’re looking at having a DJ. And a good DJ is going to run $1,000. So I would probably tell them not to have a DJ but to have a classical guitarist. Or they might even want to have a dessert reception where you serve petits fours, tartlets and champagne. You could still get away with having a church wedding ceremony, but then in the church hall next door is where you would hold your reception. The one place a bride shouldn’t skimp is on the photography because your photos are the only thing you have after the day is over.
Is there a no-fail recipe that leads to the perfect wedding?
I always tell the brides never to expect a perfect wedding. I’m very honest and I just say, “It’s Murphy’s Law and you can’t get away from it, but I’m going to do everything that I can to make sure you’re not aware of it.” Timeline is key. My timeline is very detailed. It not only includes when the vendors are coming and leaving and what they are bringing, but I also include personal items like whether or not the bride has a handkerchief from her grandmother that she is going to be carrying. I always ask the bride at the first consultation, “What’s your biggest fear?” And then I take that fear and say, “That is not going to happen.”
To contact Sharon Cole, call (619) 723-0674 or visit www.abridesdream.net. If you would like to talk about the planning and outcome of your wedding, please contact Nicole Reino at nicole.reino@uniontrib.com.
Wedding checklist
From the engagement to the day of the nuptials, here’s a list for the groom and bride to keep in mind:
Announce your engagement
Decide on type of wedding
Begin thinking about guest list
Hire a professional wedding coordinator
Finalize wedding budget according to guest list
Average wedding budget in San Diego is $23,000 per 100 guests
Choose wedding date and time
Find ceremony and reception locations
Choose color and theme for wedding
Choose attendants, groomsmen, bridesmaids
Interview photographers
Audition ceremony/reception musicians
Interview caterers, work on menu, identify personal likes/dislikes
Begin thinking of flowers
Send “save the date” announcements, design wedding Web site
Start looking at styles of gowns
Talk to your officiant about style of ceremony
Finalize guest list
Book photographer and musicians, sign contracts
– From Sharon Cole of A Brides Dream
